Dear Dr. Betty,
Can you please explain what male midlife crisis is all about and what becomes of it? My ex of 23 years has totally flipped, runs around with strippers, does drugs, and behaves like a teenager. He is an embarrassment to his adult children and to the rest of his family. Is there an end to this crisis? --D.
Dear D.,
The latest research says midlife crisis rarely occurs -- but I say hogwash! I get so many letters from husbands and wives about their spouses suddenly leaving, having affairs, and engaging in behaviors that are so unlike them. It's not uncommon -- it's common.
Midlife change isn't always a crisis but can run the gamut from being barely noticeable to becoming a full-blown explosion! According to Jed Diamond, author of Surviving Male Menopause: A Guide for Men and Women, for many it's like experiencing their second adolescence, what he calls "puberty in reverse."
Like adolescents, 35- to 60-year-old men are breaking away from long-held obligations, such as parents, spouses and families. "I want to live for myself now," is often the mantra of the midlife man acting out.
Just like you, many family members pay a toll for this sudden "acting out" and wonder what it means and when it will end. You might be focused on the psychological and spiritual aspects to your ex-husband's behavior, but don't ignore the physiological change that takes place due to a drop in levels of the hormone testosterone.
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