Monday, May 16, 2011

Have You Ever Swapped One Addiction for Another? I Have.

As difficult as it still is for me to say this publicly...


...I struggle with food addiction. That inability to stop eating certain foods once I start led me to where I was 75 pounds ago. But putting down the food hasn't been easy--for so long, it was what I used to deal with and escape from life. That kind of crutch is difficult to give up without leaning on something else. So I've picked up other habits along the way. At one point I had become a little manic about exercise, though I no longer abuse it or see working out as a means to eat all I want--I work out moderately, not obsessively, these days. Then it was gum. Later, coffee. And now it's sugar-free, Sweet'n Low-sweetened butterscotch hard candy. I started "using" these after dinner, thinking if I kept one in my mouth, I wouldn't leap into the kitchen after dinner looking for things to graze on. It worked for a few days--until I started biting into the hard candy (ouch!) and eating multiples at a time. Last night I had, oh, about half the bag. This morning I had...Pepto-Bismol. Not fun.


So here I am: Day 1 of no "crutch" of hard candy. I'm committing that to all of you. Rationally, of course, I know that I don't need to rely on these things to get me through my day, I just need to be willing to let them go. I've even tried to take up knitting--I started a scarf. If you know anyone who could wrap themselves in 3 inches of fabric, let me know, because that's how long knitting held my interest. Oy!


I've known people who claim they'd rather be "skinny smokers than obese ex-smokers," afraid they'll pick up a food addiction if they quit cigarettes. Scary! Have you ever replaced one addiction with another?


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