Dear Dr. H,
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and we don't have sex as often as we used to. He claims he's not seeing anyone else. Is there anything we can try--besides Viagra--to get him aroused and interested in sex again?
Read on for Dr. Hilda Hutcherson's response.
A. I can't tell you how many times my patients find themselves in the same predicament you're in. First know this: it's common for desire to hit high points and lows in a relationship. One woman walked into my office devastated because she and her boyfriend, who once had sex at least twice a day for the first two years of their relationship hadn't had it in two months. "Well," I said to her, "when was the last time you initiated sex?" And she couldn't even remember--that's how long it had been. I told her to take charge! The next time I saw her for a visit, she wasn't complaining. Once she started initiating sex, something wonderful happened: her partner's desire started to increase. He was turned on by feeling wanted, and by knowing that he could still arouse his girlfriend. And there are fun (and cheap) ways to bring a little excitement into the bedroom if you've been together for a while. You can stop at the grocery store, buy a jar of peanut butter, and put it in the middle of the bed. He's bound to ask you what the heck the PB is doing there--and then you two can use your imagination to figure it out! It's definitely an aphrodisiac to feel like someone intensely desires you--so show him that you do!
Readers, do you have any other sex drive questions? Let's talk about them here!
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